The New Yorker found them lining up outside a SoHo sex shop waiting for instruction. Some say this book is good for women because it gets people talking about sexual desires. Yet, all over America, as the New York Times tells us, people are asking for this book, so much that libraries and their librarians are in a kerfuffle over whether or not to stock the hyper-popular tome. Working women, if you believe Newsweek and Katie Roiphe, are not only clamoring for the book, they want the BDSM described within it, too. But sexy? A girl being spanked until it really, really hurts and she can barely handle the pain, but then, amazingly, she can? The description of bizarre, spontaneous orgasms that occur after said pain is inflicted? Sexy is a matter of opinion my opinion of this "sexiness" was no. Scenes, yes, in so much as they've been written. So I skipped ahead, a skill honed while growing up on such novels as Clan of the Cave Bear and Flowers in the Attic, to look for the sex scenes. I did not have to skip ahead too far because, as promised, there are so many sex scenes. Yet despite the monumental hype, this storyline failed to enthrall. The novel begins as Anastasia Steele, yet another Bella-esque character who has "no idea how attractive she is," accidentally stumbles into the weirdly long fingers (and preferred BDSM scenarios) of a generous, hugely attractive, wealthy, all-powerful older (but not too old) man who adores her completely, blah blah blah. Where the book really fails, however, is in its promise, a promise heard 'round the Internet and even in real life, of sexiness. The book's romantic twosome, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, are reminiscent of Bella and Edward in Twilight (the series started as Twilight fan fiction, after all) but there's no vampire stuff to take the edge off.
The characters are two-dimensional and stereotypical. The writing is stilted and relies on tropes that anyone who's ever sat through 15 minutes of a high school writing workshop would know to avoid. I know this because I have started reading it. Look, I'm not afraid to say it: 50 Shades of Grey is a terrible book.
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